Origin
by KeepSaying
Summary: Hirst got it right this one time: Who doesn't love a good origin story? - How our team got to work together at the FBI and how they went from being co-workers to the family they are now.
1. Kurt Weller: Fit Right In

**A/N:** Soo hello! I've been drafting this tiny series ever since Hirst had breakfast with Tasha and Reade, because she might have been the shadiest shade to ever shade (so far) but she's right in one thing: Who doesn't love a good Origin story?

So here's my attempt at giving our favorite characters a background story and how they ended up at the FBI, in this team. There are going to be 4 or 5 chapters, starting of with Kurt's journey to the NYO in this one.

I actually did research on this one, and it was extremely interesting to see what you gotta do to become a Special Agent. So, I hope I managed to put it into words in a way that it's fun for you to read.

Enjoy and tell me what you think :) x

* * *

 **Kurt Weller: "Fit Right In"**

„Hey there, stranger", Sarah pulled her brother into a hug and grinned when he lifted her up for the tiniest of seconds. "Care to go out for a coffee?"

Kurt nodded and waited for her to grab her bag from the couch and shut the door behind her. He hadn't visited her in way too long even now that they were living in the same city again.

"How have you been?", he asked her once they were on the street, just casually walking alongside each other to one of her favorite coffee shops.

"I've been great", she beamed up at him, "College is going great, probably because the exams are still two months away. Oh and do you remember Mike?", she asked but didn't wait for his reply, "He asked me out two weeks ago and we're kind of seeing each other. He's a great guy, you would like him!"

He raised an eyebrow as his sister skeptically, "I sincerely doubt that."

"Yes, me too", she agreed lightly, pinching him in the side, "But only because you don't like anyone."

"Hey! I like plenty of people", he exclaimed in mock hurt and grinned when he saw her smile. "Seriously, I'm happy when you're happy. But just in case he turns out to be a douche bag you can tell him about your big brother."

She rolled her eyes at him. "He's going to be so scared. Did I tell you he used to be the team's quarterback?"

"If he had been any good, he'd still be playing", he replied with a shrug.

They had reached the coffee shop and he held the door open for her, letting her talk about her friends and college while he ordered and paid for their drinks and a brownie.

"So", Sarah leaned forward, her arms resting on the table, and looked up at him expectantly, "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"I can't visit my sister without an ulterior motive?", he asked, looking up from the coffee in his hands to meet her gaze. Of course he had something to talk to her about. She knew him too well for him to hide something from her even if he ever wanted to try. And he didn't. He had had too many people lie to him to ever start lying to his sister. He wanted to be a better man than his father had ever been.

Relenting he put the cup back down and instead rubbed the palms of his hands together. "I was thinking of applying as Special Agent with the FBI."

Sarah had just taken a sip from her beverage and almost choked on the liquid. "You what?", she asked rather unintelligible, "Where is this coming from?"

"Well", he looked down at his hands again, "I was thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. Something I could imagine doing for the rest of my life and that's where I wound up."

Biting her lip she looked him over quietly, "You're sure this has nothing to do with Taylor?"

"Of course not." He shook his head and as always when the conversation drifted to the topic of their missing friend, he tried to hide his discomfort by rubbing his neck with his hand. "Everything I do, my whole life, is in some way because of what happened back then", he told her, "It changed everything and I will never stop looking. But", he added after a moment, "I also think I can do a lot of good that way. I can prevent people from ever feeling the same way, I can save people and make amends."

"Oh Kurt", Sarah sighed, reaching out to his hand and squeezing it tightly, "It wasn't your fault, you were still a kid yourself. When will you ever see that?"

He kept quiet and his eyes stayed locked on their hands on the table. They had had this conversation for as long as he could remember and they would never agree but he didn't want to fight about it just then. He had been honest when he had said that he would never stop looking and that the job was a way to make amends for the biggest failure of his life but there was also something else – a tiny voice in his head telling him, that was where he belonged.

For so long he had focused on his anger, had almost been kicked out of the Academy several times, and it had gotten him nowhere. Now he wanted to go about it the right way. He wanted to save children in a good way, without his anger clouding his judgment and he simply knew that the FBI was the place to pursue that task.

Sarah's voice pulled him from his thoughts again, "You really want to do that?"

"Yeah, I do", he replied sincerely and shot her a small smile. "I'm going to apply for the New York Field Office so I can be close to you. But it takes time. I browsed the website already, and the application process is endless and only once you complete it, including tests for your physical fitness, mental health and background checks, you go to the Academy."

"Maybe I won't even make it, I mean I guess hundreds of people apply all the time", he added with a frown, "But I wanted to talk to you about it before I started the process… See if you thought it was a bad idea."

A wide smile crept onto her lips as she squeezed his hand once more, repeating his own words back at him, "I'm happy when you're happy. I think this could be good for you and your helper syndrome."

He rolled his eyes but felt his heart beat lighter in his chest at her reply. "I don't have a helper syndrome."

* * *

"So, I've reread this a million times", Kurt sighed in frustration, dropping down on the couch in his sister's dorm, "And you still find things to criticize."

Sarah, who was sitting across from him in sweats and a comfy hoodie, a pen and the print out of his online application in her hand, laughed at her brother's dismay. "I've always been better with words, don't take it personal", she grinned and popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

The bowl was sitting between the two of them because the table was covered in pages of said application, leaving not enough space for even a glass of water to fit next to them.

"At least you submitted the scores to your self- Physical Fitness Test correctly", she noted lightly and continued to cross out some of the paragraphs and adding her own thoughts.

"Very funny", he groaned, leaning his head back against the arm rest. "I'm a lost cause. Why the hell do they have so many open ended questions?"

"To evaluate your views against the FBI's core competencies", she quipped without looking up.

Kurt frowned at her, "Well, someone has been reading about the process a lot."

"Yes", she agreed shooting him a smile, "Which is exactly what you should have done before you started writing. I know, I know", she cut him off by raising her hand when he wanted to disagree, "You read the requirements and what you gotta do and all that but have you ever read what they write themselves?"

When he shook his head, she looked up and put her pen down for a moment only to search for one of the print outs on the table.

"The Special Agent Selection System (SASS) is a mentally and physically challenging process designed to find only the most capable applicants. However, those who make it through the process become part of an elite team that keeps our country safe", she read out from the paper. "And they have stuff like 'contribute in a meaningful way' or 'confronting the evolving threats facing our nation'", she quoted and handed him the piece of paper.

"What are you saying?", he wanted to know, scanning over the page, "That they sound a little snooty while trying to sound poetic?"

"Yup", she nodded, continuing to scribble in his text, "They take themselves very seriously. Not that they aren't, I mean. But the way they write it? You'd think you are going to be facing terrorists trying to blow up New York every other day. Which I really hope won't be the case."

Kurt nodded slowly, "So you're saying my answers should have some of that snootiness?"

"Yes", Sarah agree leaning forward to show him her draft, "I mean you did good with the content but I think we could pep it up some more to make it deserving for this wonderful country you wanna save."

Sarah giggled and even Kurt had to chuckle, grabbing a handful of popcorn before reading over his sister's words. "Okay, then help pep me up a little."

* * *

He was still holding the letter in his shaking hands when he picked up the phone to dial Sarah's number and just as he had expected, she picked up after the second ring.

"Please tell me you passed!", she exclaimed and continued before he had the chance to open his mouth, "I mean it's not too bad if you haven't. You've got two opportunities to pass these tests, right? And they already accepted your initial application so you're already in their system and who cares if you pass the test after the first or second try, right? I mean it would be great if you had passed but sometimes these tests can be really confusing and in my opinion standardized tests are awful to assess someone's competencies but I mean they have to rate you some-"

"Sarah!", he stopped her after he had found his voice again, "Relax, I passed!"

"You did?", he could hear her relieved sigh at the other end of the line and had to grin. "That's good. That's great! Did they already sent you the appointment for your meet and greet with the local office?"

"Yes, yes they did", he replied and scanned over the letter for what felt like the hundredth time, "I should meet them the day after tomorrow at 9am in the lobby of the New York Office."

After that he had to remove the phone from his ear because the squeal his sister let out just then would've made him lose his earing. "Calm down, otherwise I'm not going to pass the medical exam if I should ever get to that."

"Oh god, I'm so sorry", his breathless sister replied, "But you'll pass it. You're doing great! I gotta run now, see you after your appointment? Dinner at your place?"

Once they had hung up, Kurt let himself drop on the couch and reread the letter yet again. He still couldn't believe he had passed the first Phase of testing and would actually set foot into the New York FBI building this very week.

His heart was beating incredibly fast and for the first time he actually felt as if he had a shot at this, at becoming a Special Agent. And he realized, once more, that that was exactly what he wanted to be. He wanted to fight for his country on the inside, wanted to keep the American citizens and their children safe. He wanted to do his part at making this country the place of liberty and safety everyone dreamed it out to be.

He would do it. He had always been stubborn and for the first time he was going to use that trait to get something he really wanted.

Now he only had to make a good first impression and pass the evaluation and review by the internal hiring board.

For the next two days he spent every waking moment going through every possible scenario and question they could throw at him and trying to figure out what was expected of him and what to expect of that recruitment team.

Was a suit over the top? Or only if he wore it with a tie? Or simply jacket and a tie? Or leave the tie completely? He had always hated the confinement of that particular piece of clothing but maybe it was expected he wore one?

Then again he was supposed to be comfortable in his own skin, that's what all application advisors always said and he doubted having a sling around his neck that he felt could strangle him at any given moment, would help with that agenda.

* * *

"Mr. Kurt Weller."

He heard his name being called and suddenly wished he had left the first button of his shirt open because breathing seemed to be getting increasingly more difficult with every step he took towards the door and the woman who was waiting for him at the door step.

"Welcome, Mr. Weller", she greeted him and shook his hand before leading him into the room where a desk with three seats and two other persons occupying them, was facing a single empty chair. His chair, he guessed correctly as the woman motioned for him to sit down.

Once they were both seated, she looked up again and shot him a warm smile, introducing herself.

"My name is Bethany Mayfair, I'm the Assistant Director of the New York Office of the FBI and I'm in charge of today's oral interviews as part of Phase two of the Special Agent application process. Supporting me today are Special Agent Shipley as well as Special Agent Cooper", she explained.

The two men next to her, looked up from the file – his file – they were currently studying and gave him a curt nod that he reciprocated before Assistant Director Mayfair continued.

"I'm assuming you know about your assignments today?"

"Yes", he replied, trying to talk in spite of his scratchy throat. "The oral interview will take up between thirty to sixty minutes in which you will question me about everything I have already admitted in my application and evaluate my ability to become a Special Agent. After that I'm starting the writing exercise in which I will get a case and prepare a comprehensive report on it."

"Very good", Special Agent Shipley nodded in content, "You've done your homework, Mr. Weller. How about you tell us all about why you want to be a Special Agent in the first place."

Just as he had practiced a million times with Sarah prior to this day, he told them about his drive to become one of them and why he thought he was the best candidate for the job.

They asked him about problems that had occurred in his life and how he had overcome them, what he had learned from them and how he would try to prevent them from happening again in the future. They talked about his family shortly as well and about his time at the Military Academy. He answered all of the questions with ease, even the ones about his family, thankful for all the pestering Sarah had done while preparing him for this day.

When he was done he had an overall good feeling and when Assistant Director Mayfair bid him goodbye she smiled at him again and in his gut he knew that he could trust his instincts about this woman and that she seemed to be rather pleased by his performance as well.

He was hopeful when he went into the writing exercise and got the data he was supposed to be analyzing and after ninety minutes he was done. He tried to remember the tips he had read beforehand, tried to go through the facts logically and it went by faster than he had ever anticipated.

When he got back home, Sarah had already let herself in and was waiting for him on his couch, watching reality TV.

"How did it go?", she exclaimed once he had closed the door behind himself and then mustered him in great detail, "You should definitely wear a button down more often, it suits you. The blue brings out your eyes."

"Thanks", he grinned, dropping down next to her, "I bet that's what the guys in the interview room thought, too. It went good, I think. I think I told them everything there was to tell about me."

For a moment his sister frowned at him, appearing deep in thoughts. "You weren't too modest, were you? Didn't sell yourself short? Because I know you, Kurt Weller, and you hate saying anything positive about yourself."

"Yes sis", he rolled his eyes and put his feet on the table, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "I think the Assistant Director liked me. She was really nice. So were the other two but she just had an aura… you know?"

"Tell me you're not falling for your future boss."

"Very funny." Kurt threw a pillow in her direction, his eyes still closed, "No, she's way too old for me but she's a black woman at the head of the NYO, I think she deserves immense respect."

Smiling slightly, Sarah leaned forward, resting her cheek on her brother's shoulder. "You're a really good person, you know that? And I'm so proud of you."

She didn't mention their parents. Didn't say how their dad would be proud as well or how happy their mother would be because she knew that he didn't want to hear it. When their mother had walked out on them, she had died in his eyes and he had repeatedly told her they didn't owe her anything, especially when she had been too young to fully grasp her leaving.

Their dad was a different matter.

She was still meeting him every once in a while and called him every other week but Kurt had never quite gotten over the accusations against him. It hurt her, thinking that the few remaining members of her family would never be in the same room again. But she didn't want to take the happiness from him in this moment, so she kept quiet.

"Did you tell Emma already?", she asked instead, a smile on her lips, "I bet she'd be proud of you, too."

Emma Shaw. The only person he still looked up to sometimes. The mother of his dead childhood friend. Sarah liked her good enough but she had never been as obsessed with looking for Taylor. After a few years of fruitless searching, she had resigned to the idea that she would never see the wired girl again but that was something her brother had never been able to do. And Emma had never stopped him, either, had never discouraged him from having hope.

Sarah didn't know what to make of that. She didn't want her brother to lose one of the few attachment figures he still had but she was also worried for him and his never ending search that seemed to consume him completely and kept him from most social interactions.

"I haven't told her yet", he replied pulling her from her thoughts, "I want to tell her when… if I pass."

"You'll pass", she said in firm belief and threw an arm around him, hugging him close to her, "You're the best brother in the world and the FBI will be so lucky you work for them."

* * *

Within fourteen days of passing the Phase two testing, he had to go in once more and complete the Physical Fitness Test again, this time with an official FBI agent timing his runs and counting his push-ups but he had no problem passing this part of the process. He had always been rather fit, had never had let himself go too much because the exercising kept him away from his demons.

Of course he wouldn't ever tell anyone that he liked running until his lungs were about to burst and he could barely breathe anymore because it deflected from the constant pain in his heart. Taylor's face, which had always been ingrained into his brain, seemed to come to his mind a lot more often recently.

He suspected that was because he was, in essence, doing it because of her and because deep in his heart he was hoping to be able to take a look at the old case files once he actually graduated from the Academy. As much as he tried not to put too much hope into that thought, he couldn't deny that it occurred to him frequently.

The background investigation was a lot more draining than the fitness test had been and, for a week he spent what felt like every waking moment inside the FBI building while his past was being scrutinized, his experiences evaluated and he went through all kinds of personal security interviews, polygraph and drug tests, fingerprinting and the medical exam.

But he did it, always with his goal in mind, his stubborn thoughts focused on where he wanted to be rather than on where he was right now. And when he finally held the letter in his hands, ordering him to report to the FBI academy in Quantico within sixty days, he was as proud as he had ever been.

He did it.

He was now officially a New Agent Trainee and he would make the most out of it. He would give his everything to pass the academy and he would make sure he ended up in the NYO in Assistant Director Mayfair's team.

From the first day to graduating from the academy, Kurt spent 21 weeks in Quantico. The first twelve weeks were spent mostly intelligence-driven and operationally focused, after that only the Special Agent Trainees stayed and it got a lot more physically demanding.

It reminded him a lot of his days at the Military Academy. The long hours of working out and firearm training didn't bother him as much as they did some of his classmates and when the day of the graduation came, he finished on top of the class.

That had been his goal and he had even managed to get to know a few people but hadn't made any life-altering friendships. They knew him to be more of a hermit and he didn't try very hard to correct them because he was here to pass and become an Agent, not to make friends for life. And if being on his own more often than not was what it took to become good at this job? Then he would gladly do it.

* * *

"Welcome, Special Agent Weller."

It was the moment he had been waiting on for so long. Bethany Mayfair was standing in front of him once more, shaking his hand and smiling at him slightly.

"I'm honored, ma'am", he managed to get out without too much chocking, excepting the badge she handed him solemnly.

Flipping it open he stared at his picture, name and security clearance. The leather felt cold in his hand, it felt dignified and he was proud to wear it. Flipping it close he let his thumb move over the golden eagle on the front and the letters beneath him.

He was now officially a Special Agent with the FBI and, even though he had already taken the oath, he swore to himself in that moment that he would do everything in his power to be deserving of this badge and this honor. He would serve and fight for this country until his very last breath, giving it everything he had.

"Your 18 months probationary period starts today", the Assistant Director explained, mustering him in great detail, "You will work in different specialties in this office to gain your first hands-on experience and after that we will decide where you fit in best with our team."

"Thank you, ma'am", Kurt nodded, the badge still firmly held in his hands, "I will not disappoint you."

"I'm sure of that, Special Agent", she replied friendly, "You seem to be hard working and I have a feeling that you're going to fit right in with us."

* * *

 _Next up is Patterson: "Don't Underestimate Her"_


	2. Patterson: Don't Underestimate Her

**A/N** : Patterson's first day at the office. Enjoy :)

* * *

The walk through the lobby had already taken a toll on her and now that she was standing in the elevator, having nothing to keep her mind from wandering around in circles, she had enough time to fully appreciate how nervous she actually was.

She couldn't ever remember being this nervous about anything ever before. Not school, not college…. Well, maybe about the social part in both institutions but not about her qualification. Always having been the best of the best had not made her very many friends but at least she had always felt safe pursuing the task at hand.

But this was different.

She wasn't in school anymore finishing on top of her class. This wasn't college, either, where she had spent most of her time correcting her professors. And it was vastly different to her time spent working in the lab for the FBI because now she would come together with other Special Agents, just like her newly trained self, and do all kind of things she could do in theory but was anxious to.

"Breathe", she whispered to herself and tried to take in every little detail she could of the clinical elevator. At least the numbers were constantly changing and the tiny digits put her at ease. They were predictable and logical, she understood them. "And you can understand people, too", the voice in her head told her far more convincingly than she actually felt.

"Almost there."

Letting out a deep breath she drove her fingers through her long blonde locks once more, smoothing over some imaginary wrinkles in the, for her non-characteristic, blouse. She hadn't been sure what to wear and had ultimately settled on just a plain white blouse and blue jeans. She couldn't go wrong with that, right?

Her bracelets, though, she hadn't found the heart to take off. They were jingling now when she moved her left arm and she smiled down at the memories of the nerd camps she had gotten them at or how her brother had run back into a burning house to get one of them or the white-gold one her grandma had given her before she had passed away.

She didn't know the rules of wearing bracelets at the office yet. During her time at the academy she had had to take them off and she had never before felt so naked while being fully clothed. Maybe her boss would be nice enough.

Oh, god. Her boss.

Bethany Mayfair was head of the New York Office, she had seen her once when she had been at the office for some of the tests, but had never talked to her and didn't know what to expect. Obviously she was more of a physical special agent and not so much into the laboratory-intelligence part of the job, right? Would she still respect her?

After all she had worked in a lab for most of her life and had only gone through the training in the academy and hadn't really been on top of her class, which had been a new experience for her.

"Don't panic. Don't panic."

Just when she had mostly managed to calm herself down, the elevator pinged and the doors went open, presenting her with a huge and empty office.

Carefully stepping outside, Patterson looked around the countless working places that were still deserted.

"Figures", she thought as she walked through the rows slowly, taking everything around her in in great detail, "Who would come into office before 6 a.m. on a Monday morning? Only the new intern who couldn't sleep."

Except that she wasn't an intern.

She was a special agent.

Squaring her shoulders, she let that repeat in her head a few times, letting it become her mantra.

She was Special Agent Patterson of the FBI, former STEM professional, with a degree in computer science. What could they have on her, really? None of them was as smart as she was. They might be great special agents and had way more experience in this office but she had her brain and her brain had always helped her through every obstacle so far.

"Sorry ma'am. What are you doing here?"

When she heard the voice behind her, she was completely taken aback and whirled around in panic, trying to make out the owner. She could only imagine how scared and ridiculous she had to be looking just then. Like a deer caught in the headlights. So much for a good first impression.

All these thoughts ran through her mind before she even started taking the other person in. He seemed to be around her age, maybe a little older, but his eyes looked wiser and more hardened than she had ever seen in someone her age.

His intense blue-eyed stare still bore right through her and seemed to see right into her soul, while she was still trying to come up with a reply. Sadly, her high IQ didn't seem to be helping her answering simply questions and so they simply stood there, staring at each other for the longest moment.

"I… uhm. I'm Patterson", she managed to stammer finally and cautiously reached out her hand for him to shake but he just looked at it without making a move. After a few awkward second she let her hand drop again and had almost cried of relief when another voice joined them.

"Good morning, Weller", Mayfair greeted him and he replied his own salute with a curt nod. "This is Special Agent Patterson, fresh out of Quantico.", she continued to explain then and smiled at Patterson whose heart rate had finally returned into the single digits.

"Will you give us a minute, Special Agent?", the Assistant Director asked her and, glad she would get a minute to calm her nerves once more, Patterson simply nodded and watched the man – Weller – follow Mayfair into what seemed to be her office. He still hadn't smiled once and she wondered if he was always this serious.

* * *

"Who is she?", Weller asked as soon as the door had closed behind them and they were out of ear shot of the blonde agent.

Mayfair took her time walking around the table and only once she was seated in her chair and had motioned for Weller to follow her example on the other side of the table, did she reply – not without the raised eyebrow that told him that he should watch his tone. "She will join your team."

Kurt, who had expected something like that, let his gaze travel to the woman who still stood a little lost in the middle of their office, before he looked back at his boss questioningly. "She seems very young. Are you sure she's up for this?"

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow when the woman across from him actually let out one of her rare chuckles and he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"If I were you, I wouldn't underestimate her", Mayfair said simply and continued to explain when he still looked at her rather doubtfully, "She has a degree in computer science. Best of her year even though she finished college a year early. After that she has worked as a STEM professional for the FBI here in New York but in a different building."

"STEM?", he asked, "Science, technology…?"

"Engineering and mathematics", Mayfair finished for him, "You rarely see them but they do most of our job. Their expertise applies to forensic science, computer technology, cyber security, electronic surveillance, encryption… to only name some."

Weller couldn't help but be impressed at the list and released the tight cross of his arms just slightly – the closest he came to relaxing. "But she did finish the academy?"

"Yes", she agreed and followed his gaze to the young woman who, in turn, was watching them, "STEM professionals can become Special Agents additionally. I asked for her to be transferred to your team when I saw her application. I think she will bring fresh wind into this office and might have a different approach than we do, helping us see things from a different point of view. And this team might need a change after Shipley left so abruptly."

* * *

Patterson had been watching the exchange closely, trying to think of what they might be talking about. The way they held themselves showed how much trust there was between them but also that Mayfair was the boss and that Weller respected that. He bowed his head when he listened and the frown never really left his face. On the contrary, it only seemed to deepen when he looked her over through the office's glass walls and he seemed even grumpier after Mayfair's last sentence but she seemed to have deemed the conversation to be over, giving him orders of some sort and he left.

"So, Special Agent Patterson", he said when he reached her, holding his hand out to her. "I'm sorry I haven't welcomed you accordingly but I haven't been aware that we would be getting a new team member."

Shaking his hand she smiled timidly up at him and was stunned when his lips did the slightest turn upwards, resembling a smile. The crease between his eyebrows was still intact, though.

"It's okay", she said letting go of his hand and trying to decide what to do with her hands next, "Oh and you can call me Patterson, if you want", she added, blushing, "The whole 'Special Agent Patterson' might be a bit long."

There it was again, the tiny contortion of his mouth that seemed to be his way of smiling. Patterson decided then that she appreciated his attempt to put her at ease when he seemed to be a very serious person the rest of the time.

"So", she started again, looking around the office, "What do we do now?"

"Well", he seemed to be equally at a loss when his gaze followed hers, "Most agents won't come in for another half an hour. But I could give you a tour of the building if you like? Did they give you your locker already?"

They spent the next thirty minutes walking around the building and he showed her everything that came to his mind that might be important, including the locker, the gym, the server room, the armory and the medical facilities. Spending this time with him relaxed her immensely, at least she had already met two people who didn't seem to hate her immediately.

And Weller, who was going to be her boss, too, seemed nice enough. Very serious and concerned about rules but she felt that if he did let someone in – like he seemed to be trying to get to know her a little bit better – he would be incredibly loyal and already she looked up to the grumpy leader.

"Morning, Weller", they were greeted by a woman in jeans and a plaid shirt and a big smile. It was actually the first real smile Patterson had seen in this office and she automatically smiled back even though she hadn't been addressed.

Even Weller seemed to loosen up a bit around the woman and even chuckled when he responded, "Good morning, Allie. Meet Special Agent Patterson, the newest addition to our team and the first one that knows anything about computers."

"Hey, I know a thing or two about computers", she exclaimed in mock hurt but got back to smiling soon, to welcome Patterson with a warm handshake. "I'm Allison Knight but you can call me Allie."

"You can call me Patterson."

At that Allie raised an eyebrow at her and cocked her head to the side, "So you don't have a first name? Or you don't want us calling you by it?"

Patterson's smile faded – she should have known it would come to this at some point – but before she could reply, Weller had already rolled his eyes at Allie, telling her to let it go and mind her own business.

"No, no it's fine", the blonde quipped awkwardly not wanting to cause trouble and tension on her very first day, "I don't really like being called by my first name and over the years I've gotten used to just going by Patterson."

The other woman looked her over for a minute, arms crossed, before nodding and shooting her a smile, although a dimmer version of the ones before. "Alright. Patterson it is."

"Where's Tyler?", she asked Kurt who simply shrugged, saying the man had wanted to come in later that day.

They stood there for a bit, watching the NYO fill slowly as people came trickling in bit by bit. Patterson broke the silence first when she felt the other two – Kurt at least – would rather be doing something useful than simply babysitting the newbie, even though he would never say it.

"So. What are we going to do today? Are you guys working a case or something?"

"Kinda." It was Allie who answered her, "We do have an open case but we're stuck, hung up on the same few dead ends for weeks. Not a great first case for you, sorry."

Apparently Weller's frown would deepen when he was thinking, Patterson had realized and watched the agent stare at her without really looking at her, deep in thoughts. "Maybe I can find us a smaller case, to show you the basics of what we're doing here. Or I could ask another team if they-"

"Could I at least take a look at it?", she interrupted him, wanting to slap herself for her brazenness as soon as she saw him staring at her with his mouth still open. "I mean", she tried to add, "I'm part of your team now, right? And you… we are going to have to solve this case at some point, so I might as well get to know it. If… If that's okay."

"Alright", Weller said after a moment, "We'll give you everything we've got so far and you can look through it. Maybe you'll find something we've missed. Fresh eyes and all that."

* * *

It took her an hour to find a lead and before she told anyone of it, she triple checked it and then checked it again and then tried a different approach leading her to the same conclusion. Only after she was one hundred percent sure, did she get up in search for the rest of her team to tell them about her findings.

They were all sitting together – including Tyler Hill, an older guy who was the last person on the team – in the conference room when she burst in, excited and terrified at the same time.

Another half an hour later they were already at the port, hiding behind several containers because they were under siege.

"Patterson, what the hell are you doing?"

Weller was yelling at her but she pulled out her phone undeterred by his screams and the continued gunfire. She had an idea and if it worked they might get out of her unscathed.

"Allie! Two to your right! Hill! There's one to your left", she heard him scream at the other team members before he scrambled over to her, about to yell a little more at her when suddenly a siren went on and they heard the curses of the people they were after.

"I activated the sprinkler system", Patterson told Kurt – and over the earpiece Allie and Tyler, "That way they won't be able to set off the bomb they're hiding and maybe they're confused enough so we can take them in."

-.-.-

"What you did out there was reckless", Weller told her and Patterson could see the vein on his forehead pulsing with the fury he was addressing her in. "You should've told us what you were about to do. You were completely unprotected and if they had taken a shot at you, none of us would've been able to safe you."

"But we got him, right?", she asked meeting his gaze full on before looking through the window at the suspect they had in the interrogation room just then. "If I hadn't done what I did, we would never have been able to take him alive."

"Maybe so", he agreed but she could still hear the underlying anger in his voice, "But if you want to work as part of a unit and a part of this team, then I'd advise you not to pull a stunt like that again, do you understand me? I'm responsible for this team's safety and that is always going to be my first priority. You put yourself at risk by putting your gun down, you left yourself unprotected and by extension the team because we all rely on each other. So if you pull a stunt like this again it's going to have serious consequences."

"Understood", she mumbled, feeling like being scolded at in the principal's office. "I'm really sorry. It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't", he replied, his voice softening just a little bit, "Otherwise that was great work out there. I never even knew you could turn on the sprinkler remotely."

Raising her head slowly, she smiled up at him. There was a compliment in his gruff voice and she felt her chest swell with pride. "It's actually one of the easier things to do. If I had had a tablet…"

"Well, I wouldn't want to see what you can do with a computer", he joked suddenly and she grinned at him.

"I'm going to go in there with Hill. I want you to watch from out here with Allie and see if you can use anything of what he might be saying."

* * *

"Patterson, can you hear us?"

She heard Weller's voice over her earpiece and nodded until she realized he wouldn't be able to see that.

"Loud and clear", she responded lightly. She had set up her tablet on the working place they had given her and was following the GPS tracker in the team's car on the map, while simultaneously typing away on the computer in front of her.

"I'm still decrypting the rest of the phone but you're almost at the location that was mentioned in the text message we found", she told them, scrolling through the phone. "Wait. I just got another text that specifies the time. 2pm. So you have a little over an hour until the handler should get there to buy the rest of the explosives."

She tuned the team's tactical talks out as much as she could and instead concentrated on the blueprints she had pulled up from the warehouse they were driving towards.

"Okay, listen", she spoke up, "There are two points of entry, one on either side but I think they'll be meeting at the front entrance. There's a big hall that has enough room for all their boxes and they are going to feel the least vulnerable there. Three hallways lead up to that room if you come in from the other side."

She helped them go over their plan of action and when they entered the building – ten minutes before the meeting they were about to burst – she held her breath, trying to distract them as little as she could by only giving them what they needed. Like how many heat signature she could see on the building's camera or that there was another car coming in from the west.

Suddenly she saw a flare on one of the cameras and her eyes widened as her heart rate quickened. "They have a bomb!", she all but yelled into her own earpiece, "They're going to detonate it. Get out of there! Now!"

* * *

"Agent Patterson?"

She looked up from the paperwork she had been staring at for the last thirty minutes, when Mayfair approached her and sat down in a chair next to her.

"Why don't you call it a day?", she suggested friendly, "It's been a long one. You should go home."

It was all she could do to keep from crying when she shook her head. "How can I go home?", she almost choked out, "I should've-"

"No", Mayfair denied and something in the other woman's voice made her look up to find her brown eyes staring intently at her, "You did all that you could. I've read all three reports and it was only because you warned them, that they were already retreating. You are the reason they're still alive."

"But Weller-"

"He's fine", the assistant director smiled at her and gently took the piece of paper from her hands, "He's a tough one, Agent Weller. And he only sustained some minor wounds. They're mostly keeping him overnight for observation. I'm actually surprised he hasn't checked himself out already."

Patterson stared at her, "Why would he do that?"

But she already felt her heartrate return to normal. She had been so scared when she had seen the flare on the screen and downright terrified when she had been listening in on the team's breathless conversation, praying they would make it out of there in time. They had, but barely.

Weller had just stepped out the door, the last man to leave the sinking ship, and the explosion had him fly at least 10 feet. She had called the paramedics right away but the few seconds that he didn't respond to any of their calls and where all she could hear had been the crackle and cracking of the building coming down, had been the worst of her life so far.

"He might be a little stubborn at times", Mayfair was just replying and even Patterson, having spent only a day with him, could wholeheartedly agree. "Now, go home. Tomorrow's another day."

* * *

Patterson did leave the office but instead of going home she made a detour to the hospital Weller had been taken to, all the while asking herself if a sickbed visit was an appropriate thing to do or if he would just send her back home. She had a feeling, though, that beneath that hard exterior was a lonely man and maybe he would appreciate the company.

At least she tried to persuade herself, when she walked down the hallway to his room. Just as she was pondering to just turn around again, the door opened and Allie walked right into her.

"Oh. I'm so sorry", apologized the other woman, only afterwards realizing who she had run into. "Hi Patterson. What are you doing here?"

"I was just-", she started, fiddling with the sleeve of her jacket instead of looking up, "I just wanted to see how he was doing."

Allie smiled and Patterson looked up when she felt the woman's hand giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "He's fine", she told her earnestly, "We all are. Because of you. You saved our lives. It's not your fault he didn't run fast enough."

The blonde nodded. "What took him so long?", she wanted to know and to her surprise Allie actually chuckled before her eyes drifted back to the door and softened, "Well, he feels responsible for all of us. He was making sure no one was behind him. Also, I think his yelling was interfering with his running."

Both women laughed then and Allie gave Patterson's arm another pat before biding her good night and it was Patterson's turn to enter the room.

"I told you, Allie. I'm fine. Oh-", Kurt cocked his head to the side from his spot in the hospital bed and shot her a small smile, "Why are you here? Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Everything's fine, don't worry", she smiled and took a step forward, sitting down on the chair next to his bed, taking him in. He wasn't wearing the typical hospital gown but sweat pants and a worn t-shirt and apart from a few minor bruises and bandages there didn't seem to be much wrong with him.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine", he replied and maybe it was because he realized just how hackneyed that sounded coming from someone in a hospital bed or because she seemed so shy the way she was fumbling with her handbag but he shot her a smile. A warm, open, wide smile that reached his eyes for the first time that day.

"You were great today", he told her sincerely and when she simply nodded he continued, "You really were. We wouldn't have gotten there without you and we wouldn't have gotten out without you either."

"But we didn't get the bad guys", she objected quietly.

He shrugged before realizing that the movement was painful. "Then we're gonna get them tomorrow. But today we already stopped their biggest handover yet and we've got one of their sidekicks in custody. We're gonna get them."

She didn't reply to that, her mind still going over everything she had learned today, when he spoke up again, "How are you feeling? Did it feel like too much action?"

"I.. I don't know." She hadn't even thought of it until now. "I mean, it's a lot more action than when I'm just in the lab but I liked it… it was exciting and it felt good to do something good."

"Mayfair was right", he noted quietly and when she looked up at him in confusion, he explained it further, "You're a great addition to the team. And we have a huge lab that we barely use and that I think still works with outdated technology but if you want you can make that your new working place, redecorate a little. It's amazing what you can do with a computer and I think giving you a place to work with that is worthy of your knowledge would be a great asset to our team."

She simply stared at him, the vision of a lab she could plan herself to work with this highly qualified team was a dream come true. Never in a million years would she have expected that. She would use it, she swore to herself, she would use our opportunities and abilities to do good.

They talked for a little while longer and when she left it was well past 9pm but she had never felt this energized, as if she could do absolutely anything right now.

She had already opened the door when she turned around one last time and grinned mischievously at her boss.

"I think she likes you. Allie, I mean."

* * *

 _Next up Zapata and Reade: Ying and Yang_


	3. Tasha Zapata, Edgar Reade: Yin And Yang

**A/N** : Sorry for the delay. It took me an eternity to write this and I'm not happy about it. I don't hate it anymore but I'm also not really happy. Meh. Feedback would be appreciated.

* * *

Was she nervous? Hell yes, she was.

But Natasha Zapata wouldn't be Natasha Zapata if she let anyone see that fragile side of her personality and so she was standing, with a tiny, relaxed smile on her lips and an otherwise no-bullshit-stance, in the New York Office taking it all in.

Not all recruits starting that day had arrived yet – she had been half an hour early admittedly – and so the two of them that were already there were waiting in silence. Except for a formal greeting and introduction Zapata hadn't exchanged another word with the woman but she made sure to remember the name – Jenna Martens – you could never know where connections got you.

Standing here in this office had been her dream for so long and it still felt surreal, as if this was only in her head and a small part of her was scared that, if she woke up again, it would be gone. But she was nothing if not an opportunist and that was why she was going to use the time she had, dream or no dream, to really make a name for herself.

The bullpen was so much different from what she had encountered at the NYPD. The cops had been great, mostly treating her like an equal, and the atmosphere had been comfortable but it stood in no comparison to the formal aura in this office. Almost all men were wearing button-downs and even the women were in formal wear, all walking through the place knowing exactly what they were doing.

Everything felt so much more important here, even the guy using the copying machine while sipping his coffee.

Or well, maybe not him.

She wanted to be a part of this. The wish had never been clearer than it was right now and she knew her abilities and she knew she would be able to make it because she had always been able to make it and she knew she would always have her brother's backup to count on. She didn't need any more people, she'd rather concentrate on building her career at the FBI.

The sound of the elevator pulled her from her thoughts and she looked over to find three people walking towards her and Martens, one of them being Assistant Director Bethany Mayfair.

Zapata had done her homework on the leader of the office and she felt awestruck seeing her in person for the first time. If this office had a formal aura to it, then Bethany Mayfair was the true impersonation of professionalism. She was wearing a simple blazer and heels, that didn't do much in making her taller but her actual height was of no importance compared to the attention and respect her appearance demanded.

It was a strong, confident, leading woman walking towards her – everything Zapata had hoped her leader to be.

And apparently the other two were rookies as well because when Mayfair stopped to great them, so did they and they seemed nervous.

Taking a moment to eye the competition, Zapata soon realized that the guy in the polo shirt would be of no real danger to her, he would most likely turn up in one of the laboratories or maybe even get sent out into the world but not before going through a make-over. Her eyes travelled over his sneakers to the undershirt that was still looking out from under his shirt, not tugged into his jeans completely. No, Till would never be in her league.

The other one, though, he had to be the most arrogant rookie that had ever started at this office. He was wearing a dark grey three-piece suit, completed with a dark red tie and he was smiling warmly at all of them, greeting them formally.

When it was her turn to shake his hand, she made sure to squeeze it with all she had, never letting on the effort that caused her but he seemed to get the drift and a tiny scowl appeared on his face for a little less than a second.

Good, she thought grimly, better show that Edgar Reade that he won't be able to simply walk over her from the very beginning.

"Now that we have that out of the way, let me hand you your badges", Mayfair spoke and immediately all four of them were hanging onto her every word, "I know you passed all the tests and the academy and that is an impressive performance but you should remember that doesn't give you a special treatment here. Everyone here has gone through the same training and has managed to find a way to integrate into this team. There have been people who couldn't adapt, whose egoism kept them from becoming a part of something bigger."

Zapata glanced towards Reade inadvertently and had to make a conscious effort to not roll her eyes at the man who was nodding at his superior's every word.

Mayfair was still talking when suddenly three other people walked in who seemed to occupy most of the room's attention and when one of them, the leader, came over she excused herself for a second and they both went into her office for a very important looking conversation. The newbies took the time to eye the two women that had come in with him and who were still talking, seemingly without noticing the stares directed at them.

The blonde woman had a tablet in her hand that was controlling the bigger screens in the middle of the room and it was absolutely fascinating to watch her work.

The office behind them opened back up and Mayfair returned with the handsome, serious looking guy. He seemed to be more of a hands-on man than most people she had seen in the office and his blue eyes seemed to vet each of them thoroughly when he came to stand in front of them.

"Weller", Mayfair introduced him and then motioned to them, "These are our new recruits. Recruits, this is Special Agent Weller, head of our Critical Incident Response Group, or short: CIRG. It's only one of the teams you will be made familiar with on your first few weeks in the FBI. After that we will decide which division you will be working with from now on."

Weller nodded them a curt 'Good luck' before walking over to where the women were already waiting on him to continue their discussion.

Zapata followed him with her eyes, suddenly sure of where exactly she wanted to work, as she watched them narrow in on some location on the screen, they were obviously in great haste without missing any of the professionalism. Maybe they were going out to get a terrorist just now or to prevent a huge catastrophe… Her mind kept wandering to all the action-filled scenarios and when she looked back up, she could see the Reade's eyes had followed hers.

Apparently she wasn't the only one, interested in joining that particular team.

* * *

They had been shown around the office for the last few hours and it had been exhausting. Not the walking but the nasty stares that this Zapata woman kept throwing at him as if he was the new declared enemy of the state in her eyes. He wasn't sure what he had done wrong to upset her but he sure as hell wouldn't start begging some stranger for forgiveness.

She seemed to be just as ambitious as he was, though, unlike the other two who were more tagging along than really showing initiative, but she always had a hard aura about her as if she kept everyone an arm's length away on purpose.

Shaking his head, Reade tried to chase away his thoughts and instead concentrated on the woman giving out the lunch in the small cafeteria. Apparently the food on his table was supposed to be fish with… something green that resembled some sort of vegetable and rice. Well, at least he could identify the rice.

He thanked her with a small smile and walked over to where Jenna and Till had already sat down, as well as Zapata. This was going to be such a relaxed first lunch break, he thought to himself but ignored the competitive woman across from him and instead joined the ongoing conversation.

"Who would've thought this was going to be so… huge?", Jenna was currently swooning between bites and Till joined in in her excitement.

"I know right!", he exclaimed, "Have you seen that lab? I've heard that just a few years ago it was barely more than a regular forensics lab and then Agent Patterson joined and she fixed it up and now it's basically heaven! Have you seen the computers? And all the screens? You can just pull up any image on any screen for briefings, while still working on the other computers and don't get me started on that panel!"

Reade had to bite back a grin at the other man's joy. It had been pretty impressive to see the lab, especially because when they had been ushered in there the blonde special agent had been working and it had been fascinating to watch her, simultaneously typing and speaking and thinking and apparently doing math. She truly seemed to be something else and it had doubled his initial ambition to try to get onto this team. And if Zapata's looks where any indication, he wasn't the only one.

"Did you know that she was the youngest STEM professional to ever complete the special agent training?" Till was still swooning over the blonde. "I went to the same college she did and she's some sort of legend over there. Finished her degree in computer science a year early! I would love nothing more than to work for her."

"Then maybe you should've just become a lab technician instead of a special agent when you love computers so much." It was the first time the other woman on the table had opened her mouth and Reade couldn't believe the nastiness that was coming out of it.

Glaring at her, he put down his fork and tried to reassure Till who seemed to be really hurt at that comment. "I think it's a great thing to work towards to. She's a special agent too, right? So why wouldn't you be one and work with her?"

The other man smiled at him gratefully but his eyes stayed on Zapata who had gone back to ignoring them and was finishing up her lunch before getting up, straightening her blazer out and then, without so much as a curt nod, left them to take her tray back to the counter.

"Can you believe her?" Jenna seemed seriously pissed and he couldn't argue with her. The Latina really seemed to think she was oh so much better than them.

* * *

It was their second day at the office and just yesterday they had been promised to get to know all tasks that made up the FBI and had been excited to start today only to realize that, apparently, sorting through archived case files was also part of the job. Not that any other special agent was down here with them but they were told to 'get to know the feeling for the job'.

In the huge, cold and dusty basement. It was exactly what they had hoped for and they were simply thrilled.

And what made this day even better was their respective partner. They had been split up in pairs of two to start filing from two different sides of the basement and both Reade and Zapata had barely been able to contain their excitement to work together.

Here they were now, him in his three piece and her in heels and all black, trying to ignore the other to the best of their abilities while having to talk to each other every once in a while.

Zapata's back was hurting from having to bend over for an hour. She had slipped out of her heels ten minutes into their assignment and had watched Reade take off his jacket and waistcoat about five minutes later. It was the first time she had seen him without his complete suit and she had to admit it almost made him look sympathetic.

Who was she kidding, though? He was a pretty nice guy, she had witnessed that yesterday when she had been just the opposite and he had turned to defend Till from her. Biting her lips, she flipped through the dusty file in her hand, considering trying to be nicer to the people around her, when she heard him groan in frustration as he opened the next box.

"This is not what I signed up for."

He was right, of course. She was similarly happy with their current predicament but she still couldn't keep her mouth from forming a snarky remark.

"Oh boo, is the basement not good enough for your custom-tailored suit and you?"

As soon as the words had slipped, she bit her lip, wanting to take them back but of course that wasn't possible as she should know by now and Reade's expression that had been merely frustrated before was now downright angry.

"At least I'm not the one keeping everyone at a safe distance", he shot back, "At least when people don't like me, they know who it is they don't like. I don't keep up an act, afraid that they might not like the real me so I decide to let them hate this façade I built up."

"You have no idea what you're talking about", she returned spiteful, meeting his burning gaze over the file she was still holding onto. Her grip on it became tighter the longer their silent battle went on but she would be damned to show him just how right on his money he had been.

After another minute, he sighed and started bending down again, mumbling, "Whatever. Maybe you're right. I might have no idea what you're talking about but you're not giving me much to go on considering we might end up having to work together for a while."

Just like that, her sarcastic side was back in control, keeping up that façade he just talked about.

"Just because you might be happy getting a neat little desk job where you won't be in a scrape to get dirt on that costly suit of yours, doesn't mean we all are."

He glared at her, throwing one of the new files at her that she barely caught before it hit the ground.

"Don't worry about my suit", he said simply before turning his back towards her, "What you should worry about are your people skills if you want to get on Weller's team."

Apparently that was all he was willing to say to her because for the remainder of the day, they worked in silence, safe for the shuffling of paper, and if she hadn't been so dead set on not letting show just how insecure she actually was, she would've asked him if he knew what she needed to be to get on the team.

* * *

"Agents Zapata and Reade!", he heard his name being called and immediately looked up from the computer screen.

They had given all of them their own desk in the bullpen after their third day and since then it had started looking up for him. No more time spent in the basement with ancient case files, instead he had gotten a tour of the lab and was now allowed to work on some more recent paperwork, making himself familiar with the procedures at the office as well as in the field.

His good mood might've also been partly because the fierce Latina had smiled at him this morning for the first time since he had met her and she had a beautiful smile. The snarky comments weren't gone and he had almost gotten used to her sarcasm, as long as it wasn't intentionally hurting anyone. They would probably never become best friends but he was striving for a healthy working relationship and that seemed to be in the cards for them.

Which was why he wasn't too worried about having to work with her again. Sure, either Jenna or Till would've probably been a lot easier to talk to but he suspected that neither matched Zapata's skill set.

Mayfair motioned for them to get into her office as soon as they had reached her and he held the door open for the two women before following them inside.

Without any fanfare she cut straight through the point before he had even taken a seat.

"Today will be your first field day", she told them and immediately he felt the shift in himself as well as saw Zapata sit up a little straighter. They were going out in to the field! After a little over a week of sitting behind a desk, he had already grown tired of the endless amount of paperwork that seemed to be required especially when there was no physical compensation for it.

Seeing their excitement, he could've sworn Mayfair was actually suppressing a smile when she continued, "It's just a recon mission, nothing major. One of our teams is a little low on agents right now due to the flue, and they asked for two well-trained people they can depend on."

Reade tried to return her scrutinizing gaze as calmly as possible as she seemed to assess them once more to see if she had made the right decision. He would give her no reason to doubt it and if he had learned anything about his female co-worker then that there was no way in hell that she would mess this chance up.

"Now, I know the paperwork has been tiring for both of you. And I can't say I blame you for feeling like you're missing out on all the action but one of the most important lessons you will have to learn in this office is that you can never do anything half-heartedly. People's life depend on you and that is a tough burden to carry but I believe you two are strong enough to shoulder it if you work together. At the FBI we are always working as a team." Her gaze lingered on Zapata for a second longer. "I want to see if the two of you are capable of doing that."

"We are, ma'am", he assured her quickly, seeing Zapata nod her agreement from the corner of his eyes.

"We will not let you down", she said to which Mayfair replied with a simple, "I know you won't."

* * *

"I'm Special Agent Anton", the tall men introduced himself, shaking their hands quickly but roughly. "You must be Agents Zapata and Reade."

They nodded and he continued, giving them a once over. "I see you've already changed. Good. This is supposed to be a simple recon mission in an abandoned warehouse that we have just managed to connect to our guy..."

"Angelo", Zapata answered his unspoken question and he nodded.

"I see Assistant Director Mayfair gave you the file. That's great. So, Angelo, or whatever his real name might be, has been holding a pretty solid position somewhere in the top half of our very own homegrown drug cartels and so far we have nothing that would qualify as conclusive evidence. But just yesterday my team and I managed to find some of his former working places, so that is where we're heading to right now."

"This is your first field trip at the FBI, I've heard, but I've also gone through Quantico myself and I don't think you'd be standing here if you didn't have something on the ball. So, my advice for you is: Stick together, trust your partner and always communicate with each other. You have to know what the other is thinking at any given moment. Capiche?"

When he went around to check in with his other team mate, Zapata leaned forward to whisper into his ear, "And here I thought the CIA was the agency who exerts mind control."

He chuckled slightly and shook his head at her, not daring to reply because Anton was already back and ushered them into the car.

The drive to the warehouse took them half an hour and with every passing minute, he felt himself get more nervous. His leg was working of its own accord, bobbing up and down and he felt more like an anxious mess than the FBI agent that he was.

He didn't want to show any kind of weakness, though, so he simply stared straight ahead. After about ten minutes he felt a warm hand on his knee and when he looked up, he found Zapata looking at him with the most open expression.

"It's gonna be okay", she whispered so quietly only he could hear it and squeezed his knee tightly before pulling her hand back to rest it on her own leg. "When I did my first recon at the NYPD, I was positively shaking when we got out of the car", she told him, "And my old partner, he would tell me to not stress the small stuff and focus on the things I knew I could do."

In just ten seconds she had told him more about herself than in the past week and he was so surprised at her sincerity that he forgot to be nervous for a minute. "Must've been a good partner", he replied when he had found his voice again and was once more surprised at all the emotion he could see in her eyes.

"Yeah, he was", she replied simply and turned her eyes back to the road but not before shooting him one last sad smile that left him wondering just what had happened with her old partner at the NYPD and why she was always pushing everyone away.

Maybe Natasha Zapata had a lot more layers to her than she let on and maybe beneath all those layers there was an actual soul.

* * *

"You did well out there."

She stopped in front of his locker and grinned at his startled expression. Leaning against the rows of lockers she watched him pull his jacket over his baby blue button-down after spending the last three hours in tactical gear.

"That's because you're a good leader", he replied, returning her smile and pulling out his coat from his locker before closing it gently. "Thank you. I don't think I would've made it out there without you."

Zapata gave a non-committed shrug, "That's what partners are for, right? And you really are a good agent. The first mission is always the hardest but now that you know what you've gotten yourself into, the next one is gonna be a walk in the park."

"Maybe", he shrugged as well, "Thanks, though, Zapata."

For a long moment they stood there, just looking at each other and Zapata was trying to think of something to say. She didn't want this conversation to end just yet, not when she just felt that they were on the same wave length.

"You can call me Tasha", she said finally and again he seemed surprised and she realized she liked the look on his face. Unlike hers, his face usually showed exactly what he was thinking and it was refreshing to talk to someone this honest.

"Okay, Tasha." He seemed to take a moment to get used to her name when he said it for the first time, before grinning down at her, "I think I like it. You can call me Edgar", he then said, "If you… I you want I mean."

Laughing out loud at his flabbergasted expression, she shook her head, "I think I'll pass, Eddie", she teased him good heartedly. "But how would you feel about going out for a drink? I mean if you're tired I understand.. we could do that some other time or-"

She was glad when he interrupted her, with a friendly "Sounds good to me" because her mind at gone blank at the prospect of him turning her offer down.

Maybe he had been right when he had said that she was only scared of letting go of her façade because she was afraid people wouldn't like her for herself. For the first time since… since the NYPD… she had actually made the effort to approach someone else like this and he seemed to feel that because his smile told her that he understood the strength it cost her.

* * *

And so when they were called into Mayfair's office three weeks later only to be met by the blue eyes of Special Agent Weller, they had already formed the bonds needed to work together almost seemingly and, most importantly, had built a strong friendship as a solid foundation for their working relationship.

"Starting tomorrow, the two of you will be a part of CIRG", Mayfair told them formally, "Agent Weller will introduce you to Agent Patterson and the work they're doing today. Good job, Reade and Zapata", she gave them one of her rare smiles, "You have done a great job so far and I believe there's a lot more in store for you."

"Welcome to the team", Weller told them in his usual serious demeanor that they had watched over the past few weeks, extending his hand to each of them.

He started telling them more about their new division almost straight away, about the way they had originally started out, over the fact that two of their key members had quit to the actual spectrum of tasks but for a few seconds they only stared at each other, with the widest grins on their faces.

Because they had done it. They had reached their goal and what was even better, they had done it working together and they would be able to continue to do just that.

In these three weeks they had learned quite a few things. The most important one being: No matter how great it felt to achieve something on your own, the reward doubled when it was a team effort.

* * *

 _Next up is Jane Doe: Woe Has Joined?_


	4. Jane Doe: Woe Has Joined

"Do you think we're gonna need the whole cavalry?", Zapata wanted to know, grabbing a gun and a magazine from the table and putting them in her holster. The three of them were standing in the armory about to head out to get one of the worst sleazes they had to track down thus far.

Reade was just pulling on his vest and shrugged, "The guy is known for getting annoyed real quick and to turn to shooting even quicker."

"Exactly", Weller agreed, "Which is why we're going in alone and they'll be waiting on standby should we need back-up. A lot of people make a lot of noise and I'd like to keep it as quiet as possible. Especially if we're right and he's trafficking women."

"Awh, Weller", Patterson's voice came over the earpieces they had already put on, "Is that your way of telling us that you only trust this team?"

Laughing Zapata checked the clasps on her vests one last time before patting Reade on the back lightly and heading out of the room, leaving the boys to follow behind her, "Weller would never give out evidence of him actually being a human being with feelings and all that."

Kurt let out a mock exasperated sigh and followed after his two agents. "You are the best of the best. That's why you're on this team."

"And you like us", quipped Patterson. "Hey, whatcha all doing tonight?", she asked them as they climbed into the vehicle – Weller behind the wheel as usual – and drove off, followed by three more government SUVs.

She ignored Zapata's calling for a relaxing bath and pedicure and simply kept talking. "We should grab a drink together!"

When her co-workers all seemed less thrilled at the idea, she rolled her eyes at them over the comms, but they got it nonetheless. "Oh come one! We haven't gone out together in ages!"

"Maybe", Reade replied mock thoughtfully, "Maybe that's because we see each other all day ever day already and are happy when we actually get to go home. Hey, ouch!", he glared at Tasha who had slapped him from the backseat and mouthed a 'I think you hurt her feelings'.

Shaking his head at both women on their team he simply shrugged, "Whatever. We'll all go out tomorrow. You happy now?"

* * *

Her head was hurting from thinking so much.

Looking down on her body, her eyes traveled over the delicate lines that grazed her arms. Inadvertently her left hand reached out to touch the black square on her right upper arm, it was still sore but she wouldn't know how her skin would feel like any differently. The spots on her that weren't covered in tattoos were so few that she wasn't sure if they truly weren't hurting like the rest of her body was.

As unpleasant as that ache was, it was something to hold onto, something that grounded her when otherwise she felt as if she was falling. She was alone in her fall and kept turning in all directions, kept reaching for walls to pull herself back up, looking for familiar faces but there was only this black hole and she was still falling. Eternally falling.

She was sitting on the sofa, dressed in only panties and a bra and she knew she was supposed to be getting up to go back to the FBI with her security detail but she couldn't bring herself to move. Where did she have to go? After the FBI? Back here to this empty house, devoid of anything that might make it homely? But then again, what did she know about homes or anything else?

It was frustrating.

Clenching her hands into fists, she pressed them to her temples, trying hard not to lash out. She was so scared of everything because she didn't know how to handle anything. And the more scared she felt, the angrier she got. She might not know much about herself but she was sure she didn't do too good being helpless.

Jumping up from the couch, she had occupied for the last hour that had felt like an eternity, she started pacing in the living room, distracting her mind by getting her body moving. She was hoping it would burn off some of the energy that seemed to just shoot through her and that she didn't know where to put.

"Ma'am?"

She looked up at the foreign voice that sounded through her door that seemed to be her new detail for the day.

Ma'am. She hated that they called her that but then again what other name should she give them? Jane Doe? The name the FBI team was currently going by? She didn't want to get used to a name that wasn't truly hers, she wanted her real name back and she wanted her life back.

For a crazy moment she considered not replying and going back to sleep so maybe she would wake up from this nightmare but the realistic part of her brain, told her that that wouldn't happen. No, not replying would be childish and worry them unnecessarily and she didn't want to give them even more trouble.

The FBI was doing the best they could. After all, they didn't erase her memory, tattoo her body and dropped her off in a bag. No, they were the ones trying to help and the least she could do was support them with that. And who knew, maybe Chao would be able to give them some answers today.

Sighing she stopped pacing and squared her shoulders, clearing her throat before replying. "Give me five minutes."

* * *

She had just finished her session with Dr. Borden and was still holding on to the coffee he had given her, clinging to the tiny bit of knowledge that she now had about herself.

She liked coffee.

It wasn't much but it was a start and when she set foot into the bullpen she almost felt better and more in control. Almost. Because as soon as she stepped out of the elevator, all eyes were on her again and she couldn't seem to find the only familiar faces anywhere.

The walls were closing in on her again. She felt her head spinning and tried to walk through the office ignoring the looks but it was so hard to act as if it wasn't bothering her and she didn't know where to go, so at some point she simply stopped walking.

Standing in the middle of the bullpen pivoting slowly to take everything in, clutching to the cup of coffee as if it was her life line. In some ways it was just that… The coffee had been her choice and up until now that had been the only choice she had been allowed to make.

Finally her eyes fell on Zapata, Reade, Mayfair, Patterson and Weller. They were all holed up in one of the offices, obviously preoccupied with whatever they were arguing about. Oh, she was sure what they were talking about or rather who.

She tried staying calm, giving them the benefit of the doubt but she heard, rather than felt, her hand slowly crushing the paper cup in her hand. Still debating whether to go up there and join them or to just wait for them to finish talking about her, she was standing rigorously still.

Her body was still deciding whether to fight or flee and as much as it scared her what her body seemed to be able to do, it also calmed her down. The knowledge that, if the going got tough, she could handle herself and wouldn't let anyone walk over her reassured her to no end. She might not be able to control what happened to her but she would make sure that she was in control from here on. Depending on someone else to safe her was probably something she had always hated. Good.

"Good morning, Jane."

Weller's voice got through her thoughts and she blinked several times before she was able to comprehend that he was talking to her, using her name, _Jane_ , and focus on him and then his team that was coming to stand right next to him.

"What were you talking about?", she wanted to know as lightly as she could but when she saw everyone immediately glance at Weller, she crossed her arms, cursing inwardly that the dramatic effect was ruined by the paper cup she was still holding on to. "I know you were talking about me. Did you find something? Did you crack another one of the tattoos?" Her eyes stayed focused on Weller the whole time.

He shook his head slowly and she wanted to scream at him and his earnest, serious, always-in-control-way but let him speak before she interrupted him. "We didn't find anything on your identity yet but Patterson cracked another one of your tattoos. We were about to head out."

"I'm coming with you", she declared firmly, effectively cutting him off with one hand when he wanted to disagree, "These tattoos are on my body and they are the only clue I have as to who I am. If you think I'm not going to do anything in my power to help you solve them, then you are vastly mistaken."

She glared at him and his bright blue eyes seemed to darken as he straightened himself, preparing to argue her but Reade beat him to it.

"We don't take civilians out in the field", he said calmly and she was sure there was no malice behind his words but the anger inside of her flared up again as he continued, "We don't know who put these tattoos on you and I would feel a lot more comfortable in the field without having to look after a non-FBI agent."

She was about to vocally disagree with him, when Kurt cut in, taking a step forward and turning around to face the other man. Taken aback she could only stare at him, as he advocated for taking her into the field and it did not go unnoticed how he bridged the gap between 'them' and 'her' by stepping next to her so they were standing in more of a semicircle than on opposing fronts.

* * *

The doorbell rang and she jumped up from the couch immediately, her heart racing in her chest because she knew who to expect.

She expected guests.

Never before had she expected guests in her safe house and now she felt more nervous than she had imagined. Straightening her plain black shirt and pulling at the long sleeves, self-consciously trying to cover up most of her tattoos, she went to open the door with a big smile on her face.

It had been Tasha's and Patterson's idea to throw a house warming party at her place – three weeks after she had moved in – after they had realized she hadn't bought anything for the place yet. Jane didn't get the fuss they made but was happy nonetheless to have people over that she liked and that seemed to warm up to her more and more.

She didn't like to talk much about it but she did feel lonely going home every night with nothing to do while everyone else had a family, friends, an actual home. But today she would have people over at her place and they would laugh together and have a glass of wine.

Her smile faltered slightly when she saw who was standing in front of her.

"Hey", she greeted Reade, stepping back to let him in.

He seemed to be feeling just as awkward as she did and somehow that made her feel better. Showing the bottle of wine and the shopping bag he was holding by raising his arms he turned the corner of his lips up slightly and stepped inside, looking around the house, expecting to see everyone else already there.

"Yeah, you're the first one here", she stammered, taking the bottle and the bag she peaked inside it as he was slipping out of his shoes and jacket.

"That's just a few wine glasses because I wasn't sure if you had any."

Putting the bag down on the coffee table, she pulled out a box and opened it, revealing six glasses of different shape and size. She grinned as she took one of them out to inspect it more closely, it had a playful red design around the rim and a bulbous goblet.

Holding it up, she met his gaze and smiled widely. "They're beautiful. Thank you", she told him earnestly.

He pulled his shoulders up in a shrug and returned her smile. "It's just a little something I found at a flea market the other day."

Reade watched her as she continued to examine the glasses. "Look, Jane", he started cautiously until she met his eyes again, "I know I've been speaking up against taking you out in the field since the beginning and I wanted to apologize for that."

"It's okay." Jane looked down self-consciously, putting the glass down gently and rubbing her hand through her short hair but he shook his head.

"I was concerned because you were an unknown variable in an otherwise well-known equation and I didn't know what to make of it", he explained, "I've known this team for years and I trust them with my life on this job and I didn't know what to make of you. And I'm sorry because I know you don't know anything about yourself that we don't know, too and I can't even begin to grasp how horrible that must feel."

He paused for a bit but he didn't seem to be done yet, so she waited for him to continue, feeling as if he needed to get it out to feel better.

"But with everything that's going on and with all that uncertainty, you have never given me a reason to doubt your good heart or your abilities. You have saved all of our lives, trusted us even though you have no frame of reference if we're trustworthy and I hope we can try to start over."

Jane had turned the box in her hands while he had been talking to have a distraction, so she wouldn't start crying. Reade's apology touched her a lot more than his thoughtfulness of getting her a gift. Putting the box down on the table she took a step towards him and extended her hand to him with a shy smile.

"Hey, I'm Jane."

Taking her hand, Reade squeezed it tightly. "Hello Jane, I'm Reade. Nice to meet you."

Before they knew it, the rest of the team came in one after the other, each baring gifts from a soft, cozy blanket from Patterson, over a cocktail shaker from Tasha, to a collection of new pens and pencils from Kurt and with every person that came into her house, it started feeling more like a home.

* * *

 **A/N:** So this is it. I had something else planned for this but it got out of hand, so I'm just going to leave this here and finish this series on a happy note. Hope you liked it! And I apologize for the lack of Jeller but I'll be back to writing those two in no time :)


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